A Labor of Love

I approach the blank white canvas with trepidation. The self doubt creeps into my head. ‘You are not an artist. You’re not good enough. Who do you think you are?” The fear is overwhelming and I think… Just walk away. But, I can’t. I am determined to make this happen. I know I was born to create and through practice I will succeed.

After a good self pep talk I think about my palette, what colors should I choose. I remember, I just received a new order from Jerry’s Artarama and got new paints by Golden. Looking through the colors one stands out. It’s Pyrrole Red and it looks okay in the jar but not that exciting. I take the lid off and remove the seal and am amazed. It is the most delicious vibrant red I have ever seen and I know that this will be the star color of my palette. 

Once I choose my colors and put them on the palette I pick up some colored pencils and china markers and begin mark making. Something is missing. It is too quiet. I need music. I sit down at my computer and go to YouTube to look for some music. I search my feed and I stumble upon DJ Jazzy Jeff’s Magnificent House Party. Evidently, he has been doing DJ sets during quarantine. 

I click play and it takes a second for the stream to begin. When it starts I am taken back to my youth. I begin adding color, and adding marks to the once intimidating white canvas. It is white no more. The first layer goes on, then the second layer. I add marks, stencils and I see something happening.

After a couple of days of listening and painting I approach the canvas one afternoon and stare at the colors. Music is blasting. Then it happens. I see a face. I am intrigued. I take my brush and make an outline of a face, neck shoulders, and then I add hair. I add the eyes, nose and give her a beautiful red lip and “She Is Hip Hop” is born.

You may ask who is “She Is Hip Hop”? Well, I will tell you exactly who she is. She is a young black woman trying to find herself in this male dominant world. She loves hard and sometimes struggles with self love, but you wouldn’t know it. 

She has been given God’s grace as she embarks on life’s journey of twists and turns. She loves her culture and her people’s history in which she draws strength from even though she has witnessed and sometimes been victim of verbal and physical abuse.

She is creative and wants to have a voice in this noisy world. She is inspired by black women who have a voice and who have taken a stand and who are not ashamed or timid to speak out and live their truth, like Maya Angelou, Nikki Giovanni, Sonja Sanchez, and countless others. 

She imagines herself having a powerful voice and speaking her own truth. She believes that anything is possible in this world even though she gets knocked down by everyone. She will choose to live life on her terms and make her own way in this world despite the naysayers and the haters. 

She will create her own happiness so that she may have her version of living happily ever after.

She Is Hip Hop will always rise to the top.